mrsronweasley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsronweasley) wrote2002-10-17 09:22 pm
mrsronweasley) wrote2002-10-17 09:22 pm
On...huh.
I just wrote a long-winded entry that talked all about a) how Alli was wonderful, and b) about depression getting the best of me once again.
LiveJournal ate it. And I have absolutely no energy to repeat it. I have no energy to do anything. I'm fucking back to the 'down', and the 'up' didn't last nearly long enough.
The only thing keeping me happy is this.
I can finally listen to music while being online, and I have missed that incredibly.
My family combined with Sam combined with lack of anything to do and other little things have finally buried me in helplessness, and I can't get out. I don't have the energy, once again. I just want to...well, I don't know. I guess that's the problem. I'm restless and yet completely without energy. I'm just empty.
Why now? Why all this? Why? Why can't I enjoy the little things, like I have always been able to do? Or, before, anyway... Not always, because, well. Depression took care of that.
Fucking chemical imbalance. Or whatever the fuck has caused this. Fuck it all the way to hell.
And now let's count the number of times Liz used the word 'fuck' in this entry. On second thought, I don't give a damn.
LiveJournal ate it. And I have absolutely no energy to repeat it. I have no energy to do anything. I'm fucking back to the 'down', and the 'up' didn't last nearly long enough.
The only thing keeping me happy is this.
I can finally listen to music while being online, and I have missed that incredibly.
My family combined with Sam combined with lack of anything to do and other little things have finally buried me in helplessness, and I can't get out. I don't have the energy, once again. I just want to...well, I don't know. I guess that's the problem. I'm restless and yet completely without energy. I'm just empty.
Why now? Why all this? Why? Why can't I enjoy the little things, like I have always been able to do? Or, before, anyway... Not always, because, well. Depression took care of that.
Fucking chemical imbalance. Or whatever the fuck has caused this. Fuck it all the way to hell.
And now let's count the number of times Liz used the word 'fuck' in this entry. On second thought, I don't give a damn.