mrsronweasley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsronweasley) wrote2006-01-10 09:58 am
mrsronweasley) wrote2006-01-10 09:58 am
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Oh my God, "The L Word" sucked. So. Bad. It HURT.
Ok, apparently, in the past six months, THEY'VE ALL BEEN HITTING THE PIPE LIKE THE WORLD WAS ENDING.
Um, Bette? Tina? Has it NOT been made clear to you that you have a BABY to take care of? Which fucking bridge did YOU fall off? Not only did you not baby-proof the house, you actually TOLD the fucking ADOPTION AGENCY LADY that you WON'T because it's NOT BEAUTIFUL? You have SHARP POKERS around and it's ok because YOU NEVER PUT DOWN YOUR BABY, ATTACHMENT PARENTING, WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you people fucking INSANE? What, will you carry Angelica to middle school? Will you never eat? Never read a book? Never allow your child to grow INDEPENDENT, you ABSOLUTE MORONS?! And, word of advice: when you are trying to adopt a child, Bette, it's best that you PLAY ALONG AND NOT BECOME A PSYCHO HOSE BEAST. Jesus Christ! I actually liked Bette before, flaws and all. Now she's veered into TOTAL INSANE category, so buh-bye Bette, nice likin' you. (Also, have no writers ever had a child, ever, or, like, talked to a mother, ever, at all? No mother in her RIGHT MIND would let her child be endangered in so many wild ways. It's ridiculous to even contemplate. Tina, I don't like you anymore, either, beautiful though you are.)
Alice. ALICE! What have they done with MY ALICE?! I loved Alice, I thought she was awesome: funny, slightly cooky, but a real, 3-dimensional character, and she and Dana were adorable together. I can buy Dana going off with Lara, but Alice reacting the way she did? BUILDING a fucking SHRINE to DANA? What. The. FUCK. Ilene Chaiken has LOST her MIND. No way could the Alice presented to us in the earlier seasons go THAT batshit THAT fast and STAY that way.
And, oh, Dana: yeah, we know. You have cancer. Now we get a whole season of ANGST. Dammit. MORE UNNECESSARY ANGST. Also, Dana with cancer: that SUCKS.
And, yeah, it was REALLY clever making us think that it was Kit who was getting sick, and not Dana. Saw right through that one, didn't we?
Jenny. Oh, Jenny. Still the Jewish emo kid. Does she EVER grow up? I understand her life is hard. I understand she's a Jewish girl from Illinois whose step-father never made any effort and whose mother didn't comfort her when she was molested as a child. But she is still. Fucking. Insane. I heard somewhere that Mia Kirshner said Jenny wouldn't be as self-centered this season. I sure as hell fucking hope so. But her conversation with her mother on the steps? Pathetic manipulation on behalf of the authors. Too blunt and unsubtle and boring. Also, "you've done a good job with me?" WHAT?! YOU'RE A PSYCHO-PRETENTIOUS LUNATIC, your mother did a HORRIBLE job with you! She's no fucking saint, but neither are you, Jenny. Also: her mother saying "I'm sorry", just like that, in the span of two minutes? The most unrealistic apology ever, thanksverymuch, and the whole scene left me shuddering of HORROR, because OH MY GOD, who writes this shit?
Helena. Is still here. WHY.
But, finally, we get to the two people who have been ABSTAINING from all the crack going around, and actually managed to keep my interest AND make me smile. (They must have been fucking when the pipe made the rounds.)
Shane and Carmen. I love you more than ever now, because you are the link between my SANITY and the others' TOTAL BREAKDOWN.
Shane. Shane Shane Shane. It's a good thing you're dealing with a queer-clueless Mexican family (GOD, the whole 'we don't talk about it!' thing sounds familiar to me), because you couldn't act straight if your life depended on it. Ok, you could pass for a straight BOY. But. But, oh, are you beautiful. You are the balm for the soul in this world of total crackheads. Your smile melts my world. Carmen and you have a good thing, and I'm sure that once the honeymoon is over, things will go downhill and fast (Ilene Chaiken: KWEEN OF MINDLESS ANGST!), but for now, you two are the only good thing about this damn show. But, oh, the frilly white dress. Too fucking funny for words. Also, you two need to get naked and busy more, because it's fucking hot as hell. Mmmm. Shane kissage and gropage.
Overall, I was deeply disturbed and felt even more deeply betrayed. Ok, so the show has never been straight-friendly, but honestly! You take a character like the adoption agency lady, who actually makes GOOD POINTS about RAISING a fucking CHILD (apparently, Bette and Tina were raised by artsy wolves?) and then you make her a total bitch in a wheel chair who goes totally nuts over the idea of a man and almost masturbates in front of them, for crying outloud. What the hell is wrong with some COMMON SENSE without all the extra dumbness? GAH. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with how they portray straight people. Remember Mark? The VOYEUR? Of course, their portrayal of lesbians isn't exactly...well. "Crack" comes to mind, so I guess it's even? Maybe? Yeah, not even close.
Ilene Chaiken: Fighting Past Jewish Demons. We get it, lady. It's hard to be from an orthodox family and be queer and an artiste. But you DO know Jenny is the least sympathetic character out of all of them, INCLUDING crazy Mark? At least he was sincere. Jenny is just...out of this world self-centered and pretentious. It hurts. Make her BETTER.
Also, have I mentioned the total INSANITY that is ALICE now? WHY, WHY, WHY?!
It hurts so bad.
Ok, apparently, in the past six months, THEY'VE ALL BEEN HITTING THE PIPE LIKE THE WORLD WAS ENDING.
Um, Bette? Tina? Has it NOT been made clear to you that you have a BABY to take care of? Which fucking bridge did YOU fall off? Not only did you not baby-proof the house, you actually TOLD the fucking ADOPTION AGENCY LADY that you WON'T because it's NOT BEAUTIFUL? You have SHARP POKERS around and it's ok because YOU NEVER PUT DOWN YOUR BABY, ATTACHMENT PARENTING, WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you people fucking INSANE? What, will you carry Angelica to middle school? Will you never eat? Never read a book? Never allow your child to grow INDEPENDENT, you ABSOLUTE MORONS?! And, word of advice: when you are trying to adopt a child, Bette, it's best that you PLAY ALONG AND NOT BECOME A PSYCHO HOSE BEAST. Jesus Christ! I actually liked Bette before, flaws and all. Now she's veered into TOTAL INSANE category, so buh-bye Bette, nice likin' you. (Also, have no writers ever had a child, ever, or, like, talked to a mother, ever, at all? No mother in her RIGHT MIND would let her child be endangered in so many wild ways. It's ridiculous to even contemplate. Tina, I don't like you anymore, either, beautiful though you are.)
Alice. ALICE! What have they done with MY ALICE?! I loved Alice, I thought she was awesome: funny, slightly cooky, but a real, 3-dimensional character, and she and Dana were adorable together. I can buy Dana going off with Lara, but Alice reacting the way she did? BUILDING a fucking SHRINE to DANA? What. The. FUCK. Ilene Chaiken has LOST her MIND. No way could the Alice presented to us in the earlier seasons go THAT batshit THAT fast and STAY that way.
And, oh, Dana: yeah, we know. You have cancer. Now we get a whole season of ANGST. Dammit. MORE UNNECESSARY ANGST. Also, Dana with cancer: that SUCKS.
And, yeah, it was REALLY clever making us think that it was Kit who was getting sick, and not Dana. Saw right through that one, didn't we?
Jenny. Oh, Jenny. Still the Jewish emo kid. Does she EVER grow up? I understand her life is hard. I understand she's a Jewish girl from Illinois whose step-father never made any effort and whose mother didn't comfort her when she was molested as a child. But she is still. Fucking. Insane. I heard somewhere that Mia Kirshner said Jenny wouldn't be as self-centered this season. I sure as hell fucking hope so. But her conversation with her mother on the steps? Pathetic manipulation on behalf of the authors. Too blunt and unsubtle and boring. Also, "you've done a good job with me?" WHAT?! YOU'RE A PSYCHO-PRETENTIOUS LUNATIC, your mother did a HORRIBLE job with you! She's no fucking saint, but neither are you, Jenny. Also: her mother saying "I'm sorry", just like that, in the span of two minutes? The most unrealistic apology ever, thanksverymuch, and the whole scene left me shuddering of HORROR, because OH MY GOD, who writes this shit?
Helena. Is still here. WHY.
But, finally, we get to the two people who have been ABSTAINING from all the crack going around, and actually managed to keep my interest AND make me smile. (They must have been fucking when the pipe made the rounds.)
Shane and Carmen. I love you more than ever now, because you are the link between my SANITY and the others' TOTAL BREAKDOWN.
Shane. Shane Shane Shane. It's a good thing you're dealing with a queer-clueless Mexican family (GOD, the whole 'we don't talk about it!' thing sounds familiar to me), because you couldn't act straight if your life depended on it. Ok, you could pass for a straight BOY. But. But, oh, are you beautiful. You are the balm for the soul in this world of total crackheads. Your smile melts my world. Carmen and you have a good thing, and I'm sure that once the honeymoon is over, things will go downhill and fast (Ilene Chaiken: KWEEN OF MINDLESS ANGST!), but for now, you two are the only good thing about this damn show. But, oh, the frilly white dress. Too fucking funny for words. Also, you two need to get naked and busy more, because it's fucking hot as hell. Mmmm. Shane kissage and gropage.
Overall, I was deeply disturbed and felt even more deeply betrayed. Ok, so the show has never been straight-friendly, but honestly! You take a character like the adoption agency lady, who actually makes GOOD POINTS about RAISING a fucking CHILD (apparently, Bette and Tina were raised by artsy wolves?) and then you make her a total bitch in a wheel chair who goes totally nuts over the idea of a man and almost masturbates in front of them, for crying outloud. What the hell is wrong with some COMMON SENSE without all the extra dumbness? GAH. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with how they portray straight people. Remember Mark? The VOYEUR? Of course, their portrayal of lesbians isn't exactly...well. "Crack" comes to mind, so I guess it's even? Maybe? Yeah, not even close.
Ilene Chaiken: Fighting Past Jewish Demons. We get it, lady. It's hard to be from an orthodox family and be queer and an artiste. But you DO know Jenny is the least sympathetic character out of all of them, INCLUDING crazy Mark? At least he was sincere. Jenny is just...out of this world self-centered and pretentious. It hurts. Make her BETTER.
Also, have I mentioned the total INSANITY that is ALICE now? WHY, WHY, WHY?!
It hurts so bad.