mrsronweasley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsronweasley) wrote2006-08-21 01:23 pm
mrsronweasley) wrote2006-08-21 01:23 pm
Best Story Ever. (tm)
So, okay. Sam told me this story while I was on the bus heading to NYC this Friday, and I had a really difficult time not laughing outloud and pissing off the entire bus. He was told this by somebody he knows at school. Apparently, this took place in Boston.
A girl of about my age, weighing about 100 pounds, was asked by her friends to sit with their dog while they went away on vacation. This dog was a fully-grown German Shepherd.
The girl agreed, and her friends left.
Approximately on the second day of her dog-sitting duties, the dog died. No outward reason, nothing immediate - he was old, and he died. Panicking, the girl called up her friends and told them what happened. Apparently, having known their dog's health was failing, they weren't shocked. They told her that it was all right, to calm down, and to call their vet, where "they arrange for this kind of thing," they explained. Because, obviously, somebody had to take care of the body.
So, the girl called the number they'd left her, and asked for help. The vet, very surprised by this, told her that no, they don't make any arrangements of the kind, but, he added, if she brought the dog in, he'd take care of it. "Don't worry about the rest," he said.
Now, the dog weighed about 60 pounds. The girl, as previously mentioned, was teeny. How the hell was she gonna drag that huge dog across town all on her own?
Then, she had a brainwave. A suitcase on wheels! Of course! So, she stuffed the dog in the suitcase, and took the T.
Things were going fine, at first. She was kind of jumpy from, you know, having a dead dog stuffed inside the suitcase, but the ride wasn't supposed to take long, and she didn't exactly have a choice.
The problem came when she had to drag it up the stairs, and there was no working escalator. Luckily for her, a guy passing saw her struggling, and decided to help her out. Together, they dragged the suitcase up the stairs and over the barrier.
"Wow," the guy said, "this is heavy. What have you got in here, anyway?"
"Oh." The girl had to think quickly, because, obviously, she wasn't about to tell the guy that he'd just lugged a dead dog stuffed into a suitcase up the stairs. "Computer parts. A lot of computer parts," she said.
At which point the guy steeled himself, punched her in the face, and took off with the suitcase, to parts unknown, never to be found again. Only to, eventually, open the suitcase up and discover that instead of the many computer parts he had been hoping for, he was now an owner of one large, dead dog.
And that, my friends, is the best story I have ever heard.
Poor girl. Not only having to deal with a very dead dog on her hands, but being punched in the face for her problems, and losing the dead dog's body and having to later explain to her friends that some asshole from the T was running around somewhere with their dog's body.
PRICELESS, I tell you. PRICELESS.
I really hope this is true, too. Just 'cause...you can't make this shit up, you really can't.
ETA: It's pretty much been confirmed as an urban legend. Doesn't make it any less funnier. At least, in my head. *still dying*
A girl of about my age, weighing about 100 pounds, was asked by her friends to sit with their dog while they went away on vacation. This dog was a fully-grown German Shepherd.
The girl agreed, and her friends left.
Approximately on the second day of her dog-sitting duties, the dog died. No outward reason, nothing immediate - he was old, and he died. Panicking, the girl called up her friends and told them what happened. Apparently, having known their dog's health was failing, they weren't shocked. They told her that it was all right, to calm down, and to call their vet, where "they arrange for this kind of thing," they explained. Because, obviously, somebody had to take care of the body.
So, the girl called the number they'd left her, and asked for help. The vet, very surprised by this, told her that no, they don't make any arrangements of the kind, but, he added, if she brought the dog in, he'd take care of it. "Don't worry about the rest," he said.
Now, the dog weighed about 60 pounds. The girl, as previously mentioned, was teeny. How the hell was she gonna drag that huge dog across town all on her own?
Then, she had a brainwave. A suitcase on wheels! Of course! So, she stuffed the dog in the suitcase, and took the T.
Things were going fine, at first. She was kind of jumpy from, you know, having a dead dog stuffed inside the suitcase, but the ride wasn't supposed to take long, and she didn't exactly have a choice.
The problem came when she had to drag it up the stairs, and there was no working escalator. Luckily for her, a guy passing saw her struggling, and decided to help her out. Together, they dragged the suitcase up the stairs and over the barrier.
"Wow," the guy said, "this is heavy. What have you got in here, anyway?"
"Oh." The girl had to think quickly, because, obviously, she wasn't about to tell the guy that he'd just lugged a dead dog stuffed into a suitcase up the stairs. "Computer parts. A lot of computer parts," she said.
At which point the guy steeled himself, punched her in the face, and took off with the suitcase, to parts unknown, never to be found again. Only to, eventually, open the suitcase up and discover that instead of the many computer parts he had been hoping for, he was now an owner of one large, dead dog.
And that, my friends, is the best story I have ever heard.
Poor girl. Not only having to deal with a very dead dog on her hands, but being punched in the face for her problems, and losing the dead dog's body and having to later explain to her friends that some asshole from the T was running around somewhere with their dog's body.
PRICELESS, I tell you. PRICELESS.
I really hope this is true, too. Just 'cause...you can't make this shit up, you really can't.
ETA: It's pretty much been confirmed as an urban legend. Doesn't make it any less funnier. At least, in my head. *still dying*