It's a beautiful day...

[mrsronweasley]

But it didn't start out that way. In between a pretty regular morning and beautiful, sunny afternoon, there was a fight of volcanic proportions that left few stones unturned - and a reconciliation that involved a surprising and...strange?...sentence.

You see, this thing - this me and him - is ending as soon as I leave the country. I hope we stay friends, but it is much better for us to end the relationship, because I will be gone for an entire year. It would be unfair for both of us to continue this while I'm over the pond. So, it was supposed to be a fun summer, nothing serious. Nothing at all. Neither one of us needs anything serious at the moment, anyway, for different reasons.

But while we were fighting today (well, it isn't always fun, but nothing ever is) he actually said "love". That wasn't supposed to happen. I don't know if it slipped out by accident or what, but once it didn't, he didn't back down or try to take it back, which I was half-expecting him to. It just sort of...was said and then we moved on. He didn't say he was in love with me, he said that he had a lot of love for me. I hope, for both our sakes, that it is friendly love, the sort of love where you care about a person, like a really great friend, because anything else...just wouldn't be good right now.

But it felt good to hear it. Is that selfish?..

It's not out there, between us. I haven't seen him since we made up, he's at work now, but I do wonder what will happen. I think we'll just move on. I don't know.

And then I went to a cafe, and sat and read and looked at people, and actually heard a high school girl say to her friend: "You're never read 'The Canterbury Tales'?!" and was so happy, and now I'm about to walk back out there and enjoy myself.

A very strange sort of day.

And I adore "The Boys on the Rock". I'm rereading parts of it and it's making me so happy. The more I read it, the higher it climbs the charts. I do hope someone else will read it and tell me what they think (hint, hint, Anna ;)) because I have to share it with somebody. I have to.

And you are the best. Will be getting back to you shortly...

Comments

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

It certainly does sound an odd kind of day.

I don't think liking the idea that someone loves you is a bad thing. No matter how screwy the circumstances, it's a reaffirmation that yes, you are capable of being loved, you are desirable. That's a great thing to know.

Whatever he meant by that 'love', I hope things work out okay, whatever path that ends up being.

[sekhmet2.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: Awwww, thanks. You're the best, too, you know that? Looking forward to hearing from you!

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) We actually ended up talking again (yes, after a fight...again...he needs to stop asking the really hard questions, the sort that I don't even want to answer in my head...) and he said it again. And it felt great. He's not in love, but it's good to know that I am an important person in his life. Makes everything seem just a little more...grounded. If that makes any sense...

::hugs::

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

::grins like an idiot and nods::

::grins again::

::runs off happy::