(no subject)

[mrsronweasley]

Dear Spammers of My Inbox:

NO! I do NOT want a free video of p4ris hilt0n p0rn! I do not wish to see her skinny ass inflagrante, and I certainly do not care to receive a billion messages a day asking me if I do! If I wanted to see the goddamn video, seeing as how it is so readily available, I would have done so already! I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THIS HOTEL HEIRESS'S SEX LIFE! I DO NOT CARE TO SEE, HEAR OR READ ABOUT IT ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE!

For the love of all that's sane and happy in this world, STOP - SPAMMING - MY INBOX!

Thank you and Good Night,
a dissatisfied email user

Comments

[croupier.livejournal.com]

Whatever. You know you love green alien heiress porn. Love love love love love!!!!!!!

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Somehow, I should have known you'd respond to this. I wonder what gave me that idea... After having posted this, I have recieved at least two more offers to watch the goddamn video. I've deleted them. I've never really found her attractive at all, and from what you describe, it sounds like no fun at all, so why not just read some good smut and get it over with? Hehe.

*ducks*

[croupier.livejournal.com]

Dude. You don't watch the Paris porn for sexual gratification. You watch it to make fun of her! Please tell me you were faking and didn't really need me to explain this to you!

[childofatlantis.livejournal.com]

Word. *whimpers* For some reason I have about 15 spam emails today...