mrsronweasley | On Life and Other Nuisances.

So, I am now registered at a temp agency. Excellent. I am very happy about that.

I am not so happy about the fact that apparently Sam and I owe $430 for a phonebill, and I'm expected to pay most of it. I have no money. I can't pay most of it. And why won't people go away? Why do they still find me three thousand miles away? You really can't run away from your problems, can you?

Was that what I was trying to do? I've been thinking about this, and I think in part, yes. I was. I mean, obviously, when I first started planning this whole thing, that was the last thing on my mind. And technically I knew I couldn't escape. But there's knowing and there's knowing. I didn't really know. And now I do.

(Just an aside - someone's feet smell so horribly, I can barely breathe. Or maybe it's somebody's cheesy puffs. In any case, they need to leave. Now.)

And my family... *sigh* I appreciate that they worry. I appreciate that they love me. But I can't be living my life for them. I can't be constantly checking in, and writing emails all the time, because I need to live my life. I need to separate myself from them. I need to be on my own, really on my own. I can't be constantly thinking "oh, will this upset Sasha?", or "well, I know that mom wouldn't want me to" - because it's my life. And I'm twenty. I'm not even a fucking teenager anymore, I have grown up. I just wish my family realized it. For some reason, they don't - because I am always, oh so irresponsible. Because no adult has ever dropped their passport, of course. Only kids do that. Right? Therefore, by their logic, I'm still a kid.

You know what? That's bullshit, and I resent the hell out of it.

Huh. How did this turn out to be a rant? Hmmm...weird.

So, Marie and I went to a pub yesterday with the LGBT people (after the meeting) and it was very fun. I had a Smirnoff Ice on an empty stomach, and whoa, did it hit me. I was drunk. Or very very tipsy. I was very happy, too - which is a good thing. I talked to this girl Storm, whom we met a while ago, and it was a lot of fun. She's very cool, and easy to talk to - in fact, she is so easy to talk to (and I was so out of it) that I told her about writing slash. o_O Yeah. But it's ok, because she a) has read HP, and b) agrees that Remus and Sirius should be together. So, she actually thought it was cool. I was happy. Of course, I was also drunk. Heh.

And Marie has already read up to PoA, and ALSO thinks that they should be together. I know so many awesome people...hehe...

The other night, actually, Marie and I made dinner together, and had a really really great conversation. She is just so fucking awesome. And I am so glad she is here. So, so glad. I feel like someone, somewhere, was really smiling down at me when I came to Britain - and met both Theresa and Marie. Marie agreed with that assessment. Theresa wasn't there when we were having this conversation, but I'm sure she would have, too. Definitely.

And we're all going to see HP together when it comes out. Yay. :)

Well, I shall wrap this up.

Oh, but 'ere I go, I have to share a decision. Because I am lame like that.

So, due to pressure from various famous and anonymous sources, I have decided that I shall try and move in on Glow Boy. Just because it gives me something to do. And it's funny as hell. And if, by some weird, weird chance, I succeed, then hey! Go me!

I mean, this is the closest I will ever come to having a chance with Remus Lupin...

*le sigh*

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Is there any way you can try to explain to your family how you feel? Maybe not with the resenting bit, but just that you feel you need your own space and can't always be checking in because you're actually *living your life*?

*hugs*, anyway.

And you may think you're lucky for meeting awesome people, but there's a lot of people who think they're bloody lucky for having met *you*. :)

*waves Liz&GlowBoy! flag*

i could try explaining, but trust me - i know my family. they won't understand. sometimes i wonder how they managed to produce someone so infinitely different from them. then i think about the fact that i grew up in a completely different atmosphere, different culture and time. the fact that my sister was 17 when we left and i was 11 shows. and my parents were obviously already very much set in their ways. i will simply go on writing and being selective with the information. but we'll never really come to an understand, because it's simply like that - has been for a very, very long time.

and you have no idea how much i appreciate what you said. it just...makes me feel better. *hugs*

and i love the flag. it almost made me pee in my pants, it was so funny. is that sort of like 'the good ship a/sub'? ;)

*love*

Well it's a pity that the difference in upbringing has got in the way so much, but you're right that these things show. It's also *not your fault*, remember.

You feeling better makes me happy, so yaaaay! :D *hugs*

And I wonder if Liz/Glow Boy would count as a pairing we're allowed to discuss on The Empty Classroom? Heheheh.

To your parents you will always be their kid and it must be hard for them when you are so far away and get into trouble and they can't help you. My parents would be the same.
But when you don't want them to know and get involved just don't tell them when some things don't work out... just write about the positive things that happen ;)

i know that it's a parent thing but it is so frustrating because i am my own person, i want to be my own person, and not a daughter/sister/significant other for just a little while. ah, well. i'll take that advice to heart, though. ;) thank you :)

You really can't run away from your problems, can you?

well, you could fake your own death. that is my plan once all my student loans kick in (not like I'm using the degree anyway).

I can't be constantly checking in, and writing emails all the time, because I need to live my life.

and you have to check in and write emails to us! let's not mess up our priorities here, darlin'

I think that a large part of the key to most parent child relationships is selective information. only tell them what you want to. it's not lying, it's just gaining your own space. they will likely always see you as a child to some degree, mine still do and I do all the cooking and house keeping for them. you just have to remember that you are an adult. they are your parents but you have to take what they say with a grain of salt. they probably have a hard time seeing how amazing and capable you really are. but don't worry, we know. and they will.

and tell Marie and Theresa that we all say "hi" and we are glad that they are there.

I mean, this is the closest I will ever come to having a chance with Remus Lupin...

hehehehehe.... ::singing:: Liz is more obsessive than me.... Liz is more obsessive than me...

now just imagine if it does work out... the day you explain that to him, and let him read "revenge by any other name"... ohhh, I just want to be there.

:gets a "Liz&Glow!Boy" flag to wave like mad:

Love and infinite support,
Jadis

well, you will let us some of know that you're not really dead, right? will you get an alias? i recomment sybil vane - after all, you couldn't get further from your personality than that...

i know that i have to take what they say with a grain of salt, but it's very hard sometimes. and my mother just have this way of getting to me. it just...argh. and my sister even more so. *shudders* but the selective information goes without saying. there are a lot of things that have been left out in the past, and it will continue in this vain for some time to come...

i don't think i will let any future boyfriend/fuck-buddy/whatever read 'revenge'. ever. but can you imagine the look on his face if he ever found out that we were fixing him up with the other boy? *that* would be priceless. just priceless.

just for the record, i don't think it'll ever happen, but it's a nice thought... thank you for it. :)

and i love all this flag-waving...very encouraging!

*love*

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