mrsronweasley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsronweasley) wrote2002-10-29 09:52 pm
mrsronweasley) wrote2002-10-29 09:52 pm
On Going Down Memory Lane...
So, I now have a ticket home. Holy shit. I'm actually going home for the break. This means a few things things -
1) Darling, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't do it on the 19th, so my ticket is for the 15th. I won't get to visit you. :( I am so sorry. I feel really bad... But I'll be back! And, at some point, we will meet. We have to. Right? Right.
2) You will still be around, I believe? Yay. :)
3) And the NY GALs are so getting together. Oh, hell, yes.
I have a sore throat and it's pissing me off greatly. I believe it's actually gotten to that icky phlegmy stage. I know, you all were just dying to hear that.
In any case, because I am bored and have nothing to do (mwahahahahahaha!) I am going to go down memory lane. You don't have to go with me, though walks are often with others around.
I will attempt to write out where all my stories came from... and how... and why... Ok, so maybe not all. But this should be fun...
So, one night, as I was re-reading GoF, one line got stuck in my head. Guess which one it was. So, I connected "lying low at Lupin's" with everything else that had happened on the Third Task, and realized that they were both in for a pretty emotional reunion. However, I'd never seen a fic where they actually talked about it - or where they talked about it the way I thought they might. So, I started writing my very first R/S fic "Home At Last". I was very into Loreena McKennitt at this point, hence the lyrics. I think they fit them rather well, actually.
I knew that I was going to end with a smut scene, but I'd never written one before. At all. (My God, this was what, February? My, how quickly things can change...) So, I muddled through it, blushing (blushing!) and trying to figure out what went where and when. Looking back on it later, I realized that what I was doing was taking from all the other smut scenes I had ever seen, and putting it all together. It didn't work. This story has been much revised since its original incarnation, and it's still my least favorite. (Too sappy at times...bleargh...) I have since learned to block other stories out of my head and just write from my own mind, experience, knowledge, whatever. It works much better this way, because then I really can understand what the characters are experiencing.
After that was... "Silly Git". Yes. That was done for the Lupercalia challenge, and it was fun. I wrote the first part a few days before I wrote everything else, and it was originally supposed to be a 2-parter (just like "Home At Last", in fact...) However, I realized that it couldn't all be done in two parts, and that the issues that they would be addressing couldn't be solved with a simple "Yes, Sirius, my love, I will be your mate for as long you will have me!" Remus doesn't strike me as that kind of person. I knew he wouldn't go for it. So, he didn't. And then Sirius got Very Upset. But they had to get together on Lupercalia, so Remus thought rather quickly... Ah, well. It really was a lot of fun to write - it came so effortlessly, in fact, that nothing I have written since has even come close. Maybe that's why it still remains one of my favorites to remember. The last three parts I wrote in one night. One. That's crazy.
Then came my first, honest-to-God, unabashed PWP. "A Night In July". Heh. Dawnatello issued an NC-17 challenge, and by then, I wasn't as shy about it. In fact, I had to prove a point. That neither man was a whiny bitch. And that they had sex like any other hot-blooded young canine couple out there. So, they did. I mean, there was still romance and all that cute stuff, and it didn't even come close to, say, "Revenge", but nevertheless. Remus topped. Sirius got blown. Life was good. And I snuck Harry at the end there, because I like the kid. Awww...
I don't remember how "Heropsychodreamer" started out. I don't think I do. I remember structuring it out in my head, knowing what would happen where, and I vaguely remember that the idea actually came from the fact that a lot of stories out there glossed over the homosexuality issue. Some writers pretended that it was a-okay in the wizarding world, and I understand their need to do that. But I wanted to explore the real side of it. The heartbreaking realizations that come when you're too young to deal with them. Hence, my ickle Remus sitting in the snow in his robes, hating the world because he got a hard-on from looking at Sirius. "Live" were instrumental in the feel of the story (no pun intended). And I thought the title was just appropriate. I also named every part, which I haven't done before or since, but this was my baby. I knew that. I knew that nothing that I'd written previously had meant to me as much as this did, so I wanted to make it as good as possible. I actually worked, and worked, and worked on it. Painstakingly. But it was a good kind of pain. The first part, amazingly enough, came very easily. The second was...harder. Much harder. And the third...the third was where I either made or broke the story. I was very scared to make Remus out to be girly, or pathetic, or just out of character. I kept the image of him close in my head as I wrote. Same with Sirius.
The James scene came to me when I was lying on my bed, just thinking about sexuality. Yes, I do that. Still. I remember looking at my roommate, for some reason, as she was putting stuff away in her closet, and just getting this idea in my head. We're all just attracted to different things. Why not? It worked in my mind. So, out came James, the savior of everybody's sanity.
I loved writing the bathroom scene. And I loved writing their kiss. I just so wanted them to finally be happy - I was just as exhausted as they were, and those boys deserved to be happy.
Now, I know that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jadis31 will probably never forgive me for this, but there was supposed to be an epilogue. I wanted to include a sex scene at some point in the story, because I wanted them to discover sex together. But it just didn't feel right in the context of 'deliverance'. So, the epilogue was going to be them afterwards. But I had a massive attack of my smut muses being blocked up, and no matter how much I tweaked and tried to make it better for weeks on end, it just wouldn't come. At all. So, I gave up.
After that, there was a string of one-shot stories that were mostly inspired by someone making a comment, like Ishtael saying she wanted a chocolate story. In one night, I wrote "Better Than Chocolate". Good, not-so-clean fun. I have a hard time sustaining humor in my stories, I think, and that got difficult in the end. But it was still fun to write, and it turned out to one of my more innocent stories... Then there was also an Ishtael-inspired "Of Maps and Cloaks", and I am proud to say that I think those who have read it, will never look at that line in PoA quite the same way again. Ha. Ok, so maybe not...
What else was there... This summer, there was "Mad". Oh, lord. I couldn't have written it at any other time but this summer. I was depressed as all hell, but inspired despite reason. I listened to Sting's "Mad About You", and I had already thought of that song fitting Sirius. However, when I first of that, it was actually intended for my WiP on SQ, and it was supposed to feature Sirius returning to a long-lost girlfriend... *shudders* I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but in my defense, I didn't know about R/S back then. After I found out, I realized that I couldn't do that to them, so I changed it around, and they're together in that story. Julia has a romance cropping up that has nothing to do with them. Phew.
In any case, I decided to write about Sirius pre-PoA. Because it intrigued me. And I could just see him, broken, insane, trying to get his revenge, and trying not to think too much while doing it.
Then, I wanted to write something totally different. So, I wrote "Life Lesson #38". I've always liked outsiders' POV's, and this was so much fun to write. I love Amanda. She's so fun to write. And of course the boys had to get to her. They always get to you, no matter who you are...heh. That was my first Anne-beta'ed story, too. She really opened my eyes up. With just these small suggestions, and questions, and comments, she has made me better. It's fantastic.
And then we have...ah, yes. "Revenge". Ha. This came out of Jadis saying that there weren't enough sex in public stories. For a long time, I tried writing something, and nothing would come. And no one would come. It started out as a sex in the prefects' bathroom story, and was going to be from a different POV - Amanda was supposed to be in there, mouth agape, drooling. But then I realized that for the sort of sex scene that I wanted to do, I needed to be inside at least one head that was involved in it. Don't say a word, J. In any case, I moved them to Diagon Alley and had them have a lot of fun and end it with someone walking in. I wrote in a bout of inspiration, throughout one night, finishing up as the sun came up. I am not kidding. I didn't sleep at all that night, but I was so happy, because I finally wrote, after weeks of not getting anywhere. And, man, it was so much fun to write... I'm sorry, but I had to get that rim-job in there. I had to.
I haven't abandoned "Someone Else's Truth", by the way. I'm still sort of thinking about it... But it's sad - all of the ideas just...left me. I don't know how to get them back. But I'm working on it. I am.
"Mint". Ah, "Mint". Another NC17 challenge. The process is actually all pretty much written out in this journal... They just would not get into bed. I had to force them to. There was ugliness. Vomit ugliness. But they finally did it. Thank God. And that was another case of me not being able to sustain the humor I wanted in there for the whole story, which is why it took me longer than I wanted it to. Argh, that humor...
"Treacherous" I actually had on my disk since mid-summer. And it was almost all done, too. I just kept forgetting to ask Anne permission to use her idea of the boys owning "F-451" and all that... But the idea came when I was reading the book, and read the quote about burning the memories. It just got to me. It felt like Remus. And Sirius. It felt perfect for them. And then, I decided to tie it in with "Mad", and actually I like the way it worked. I'm thinking of writing a sequel to both...let them have a happy ending, or something...
Well, wow. That was self-indulgent. But a lot of fun. I love remembering this stuff, it's strangely therapeutic. Like, I can see where I started out, and how things progressed to where I am now.
And can I just say how much fun I'm having being a Mod? Or, rather, a Forum Ghost? *smirks* More than is actually allowed.
Mwahahahhahahahahahaa...
All right, I am done with the power trip. I promise this time.
1) Darling, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't do it on the 19th, so my ticket is for the 15th. I won't get to visit you. :( I am so sorry. I feel really bad... But I'll be back! And, at some point, we will meet. We have to. Right? Right.
2) You will still be around, I believe? Yay. :)
3) And the NY GALs are so getting together. Oh, hell, yes.
I have a sore throat and it's pissing me off greatly. I believe it's actually gotten to that icky phlegmy stage. I know, you all were just dying to hear that.
In any case, because I am bored and have nothing to do (mwahahahahahaha!) I am going to go down memory lane. You don't have to go with me, though walks are often with others around.
I will attempt to write out where all my stories came from... and how... and why... Ok, so maybe not all. But this should be fun...
So, one night, as I was re-reading GoF, one line got stuck in my head. Guess which one it was. So, I connected "lying low at Lupin's" with everything else that had happened on the Third Task, and realized that they were both in for a pretty emotional reunion. However, I'd never seen a fic where they actually talked about it - or where they talked about it the way I thought they might. So, I started writing my very first R/S fic "Home At Last". I was very into Loreena McKennitt at this point, hence the lyrics. I think they fit them rather well, actually.
I knew that I was going to end with a smut scene, but I'd never written one before. At all. (My God, this was what, February? My, how quickly things can change...) So, I muddled through it, blushing (blushing!) and trying to figure out what went where and when. Looking back on it later, I realized that what I was doing was taking from all the other smut scenes I had ever seen, and putting it all together. It didn't work. This story has been much revised since its original incarnation, and it's still my least favorite. (Too sappy at times...bleargh...) I have since learned to block other stories out of my head and just write from my own mind, experience, knowledge, whatever. It works much better this way, because then I really can understand what the characters are experiencing.
After that was... "Silly Git". Yes. That was done for the Lupercalia challenge, and it was fun. I wrote the first part a few days before I wrote everything else, and it was originally supposed to be a 2-parter (just like "Home At Last", in fact...) However, I realized that it couldn't all be done in two parts, and that the issues that they would be addressing couldn't be solved with a simple "Yes, Sirius, my love, I will be your mate for as long you will have me!" Remus doesn't strike me as that kind of person. I knew he wouldn't go for it. So, he didn't. And then Sirius got Very Upset. But they had to get together on Lupercalia, so Remus thought rather quickly... Ah, well. It really was a lot of fun to write - it came so effortlessly, in fact, that nothing I have written since has even come close. Maybe that's why it still remains one of my favorites to remember. The last three parts I wrote in one night. One. That's crazy.
Then came my first, honest-to-God, unabashed PWP. "A Night In July". Heh. Dawnatello issued an NC-17 challenge, and by then, I wasn't as shy about it. In fact, I had to prove a point. That neither man was a whiny bitch. And that they had sex like any other hot-blooded young canine couple out there. So, they did. I mean, there was still romance and all that cute stuff, and it didn't even come close to, say, "Revenge", but nevertheless. Remus topped. Sirius got blown. Life was good. And I snuck Harry at the end there, because I like the kid. Awww...
I don't remember how "Heropsychodreamer" started out. I don't think I do. I remember structuring it out in my head, knowing what would happen where, and I vaguely remember that the idea actually came from the fact that a lot of stories out there glossed over the homosexuality issue. Some writers pretended that it was a-okay in the wizarding world, and I understand their need to do that. But I wanted to explore the real side of it. The heartbreaking realizations that come when you're too young to deal with them. Hence, my ickle Remus sitting in the snow in his robes, hating the world because he got a hard-on from looking at Sirius. "Live" were instrumental in the feel of the story (no pun intended). And I thought the title was just appropriate. I also named every part, which I haven't done before or since, but this was my baby. I knew that. I knew that nothing that I'd written previously had meant to me as much as this did, so I wanted to make it as good as possible. I actually worked, and worked, and worked on it. Painstakingly. But it was a good kind of pain. The first part, amazingly enough, came very easily. The second was...harder. Much harder. And the third...the third was where I either made or broke the story. I was very scared to make Remus out to be girly, or pathetic, or just out of character. I kept the image of him close in my head as I wrote. Same with Sirius.
The James scene came to me when I was lying on my bed, just thinking about sexuality. Yes, I do that. Still. I remember looking at my roommate, for some reason, as she was putting stuff away in her closet, and just getting this idea in my head. We're all just attracted to different things. Why not? It worked in my mind. So, out came James, the savior of everybody's sanity.
I loved writing the bathroom scene. And I loved writing their kiss. I just so wanted them to finally be happy - I was just as exhausted as they were, and those boys deserved to be happy.
Now, I know that
jadis31 will probably never forgive me for this, but there was supposed to be an epilogue. I wanted to include a sex scene at some point in the story, because I wanted them to discover sex together. But it just didn't feel right in the context of 'deliverance'. So, the epilogue was going to be them afterwards. But I had a massive attack of my smut muses being blocked up, and no matter how much I tweaked and tried to make it better for weeks on end, it just wouldn't come. At all. So, I gave up.After that, there was a string of one-shot stories that were mostly inspired by someone making a comment, like Ishtael saying she wanted a chocolate story. In one night, I wrote "Better Than Chocolate". Good, not-so-clean fun. I have a hard time sustaining humor in my stories, I think, and that got difficult in the end. But it was still fun to write, and it turned out to one of my more innocent stories... Then there was also an Ishtael-inspired "Of Maps and Cloaks", and I am proud to say that I think those who have read it, will never look at that line in PoA quite the same way again. Ha. Ok, so maybe not...
What else was there... This summer, there was "Mad". Oh, lord. I couldn't have written it at any other time but this summer. I was depressed as all hell, but inspired despite reason. I listened to Sting's "Mad About You", and I had already thought of that song fitting Sirius. However, when I first of that, it was actually intended for my WiP on SQ, and it was supposed to feature Sirius returning to a long-lost girlfriend... *shudders* I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but in my defense, I didn't know about R/S back then. After I found out, I realized that I couldn't do that to them, so I changed it around, and they're together in that story. Julia has a romance cropping up that has nothing to do with them. Phew.
In any case, I decided to write about Sirius pre-PoA. Because it intrigued me. And I could just see him, broken, insane, trying to get his revenge, and trying not to think too much while doing it.
Then, I wanted to write something totally different. So, I wrote "Life Lesson #38". I've always liked outsiders' POV's, and this was so much fun to write. I love Amanda. She's so fun to write. And of course the boys had to get to her. They always get to you, no matter who you are...heh. That was my first Anne-beta'ed story, too. She really opened my eyes up. With just these small suggestions, and questions, and comments, she has made me better. It's fantastic.
And then we have...ah, yes. "Revenge". Ha. This came out of Jadis saying that there weren't enough sex in public stories. For a long time, I tried writing something, and nothing would come. And no one would come. It started out as a sex in the prefects' bathroom story, and was going to be from a different POV - Amanda was supposed to be in there, mouth agape, drooling. But then I realized that for the sort of sex scene that I wanted to do, I needed to be inside at least one head that was involved in it. Don't say a word, J. In any case, I moved them to Diagon Alley and had them have a lot of fun and end it with someone walking in. I wrote in a bout of inspiration, throughout one night, finishing up as the sun came up. I am not kidding. I didn't sleep at all that night, but I was so happy, because I finally wrote, after weeks of not getting anywhere. And, man, it was so much fun to write... I'm sorry, but I had to get that rim-job in there. I had to.
I haven't abandoned "Someone Else's Truth", by the way. I'm still sort of thinking about it... But it's sad - all of the ideas just...left me. I don't know how to get them back. But I'm working on it. I am.
"Mint". Ah, "Mint". Another NC17 challenge. The process is actually all pretty much written out in this journal... They just would not get into bed. I had to force them to. There was ugliness. Vomit ugliness. But they finally did it. Thank God. And that was another case of me not being able to sustain the humor I wanted in there for the whole story, which is why it took me longer than I wanted it to. Argh, that humor...
"Treacherous" I actually had on my disk since mid-summer. And it was almost all done, too. I just kept forgetting to ask Anne permission to use her idea of the boys owning "F-451" and all that... But the idea came when I was reading the book, and read the quote about burning the memories. It just got to me. It felt like Remus. And Sirius. It felt perfect for them. And then, I decided to tie it in with "Mad", and actually I like the way it worked. I'm thinking of writing a sequel to both...let them have a happy ending, or something...
Well, wow. That was self-indulgent. But a lot of fun. I love remembering this stuff, it's strangely therapeutic. Like, I can see where I started out, and how things progressed to where I am now.
And can I just say how much fun I'm having being a Mod? Or, rather, a Forum Ghost? *smirks* More than is actually allowed.
Mwahahahhahahahahahaa...
All right, I am done with the power trip. I promise this time.
no subject
And I liked the walk too. I love finding out about other people's creative processes. :)