On Overly Emotional Parents And Daughers.

[mrsronweasley]

So, my parents called me today. At first, it was fine. Mom agreed to let me live with Sam and people next year, meaning I don't have to deal with campus housing (hurrah!). She also agreed to talk to people at her job about hiring me for the summer. Another hurrah. (That would be my second time working in a library... Considering that I want to move away from where my family has always been, this fact is unsettling - my mother, the daughter of a librarian, now is one, as well. Hmmm.) She also said it was fine if Sam visited for a few days in Boston. Then:

"Well, tell us what's new!"

Well, Stonehenge took precendence there.

"Anything else?"

Liz thinks. Liz opens her mouth. Liz tells her mother that she pierced her belly button. Five minutes later, Liz's mom is in tears.

"I don't understand you. I just don't understand you."

*sigh* No, no you don't.

"But that doesn't mean that I'm not Liz anymore, I'm still me..."

Anyway, after that, the phone was given over to my dad, who very sternly advised me not to get anything else pierced, it's unhealthy, etc, etc, etc, you shouldn't be following a crowd, etc, etc, etc... Well, funny, I've wanted a belly-button ring for QUITE A WHILE. Then, my mother in the background:

"No, no, she's not a child, she's a holy terror!"

Oh, for fuck's sake, I'm TWENTY!!! I'm NOT a child - I'm a FUCKING PERSON!

Somehow, my dad and I got onto the topic of money and jobs. My mom in the background:

"As if she's looking for jobs!"

Ok, PARDON ME. I must have gone into fifteen-twenty places looking for work! If that isn't job searching, then let me know what is. I had to explain to my dad that right now nobody would be willing to hire me, since I'm leaving so soon. I will have to find work next term.

Grrrrrrrr...

Well, obviously the "I'm bisexual" talk is going to have to wait another fifty years.

~*~
Moving on...
~*~

This is the prettiest picture ever. I could stare at it for hours. *melts*

I think we need more good new R/S slash. We're running low, dammit. Granted, yesterday went a LONG way at lifting my spirits in that department, but still. The amount of shit that gets put out every single day...it's just very disheartening. For every good story, there are thirty that were obvously written just to be reviewed, with no thought for characterization, plot, canon, grammar, or basic writing skills. And the saddest part is that those stories get reviewed. ("WOOOOW!! That wuz WAAAAAY coool, right more!")

Blah. I just want something new that will instantly become a classic to me. Canis? Where are you? Minx, anymore from you? Roche?.. Anyone? Anyone?... Oh, if only GrimSlasher would write together again...

If anyone has any recommendations, bring 'em on. Chances are, I've already read it, but still. It may have just slipped through my fingers. You never know.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry your parents are being so unreasonable. It sounds like moving out of their orbit was the best thing you could have done.

Here's something I meant to send you earlier, but it still seems relevant. You may have come across it before: This Be The Verse, by Philip Larkin.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Then again, Philip Larkin was a miserable old bugger, so you couldn't trust anything he said.

As someone more positively said to me last week, 'We're all victims of victims'.

Err... I realise this probably isn't cheering you up any. Sorry.

Ok, I'll try to write some dirty R/S stuff for you. Would that help? Just give me a week... or two...

Roche

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Then again, Philip Larkin was a miserable old bugger, so you couldn't trust anything he said.

Ah, but those words ring so true... *sigh* I think we ARE victims of victims. That's actually what Alice Miller talked about in her book, too. I know exactly where my mom gets it, but still...it's just so frustrating. I'm thinking of just never having kids to avoid fucking another person up. Ugh.

Ok, I'll try to write some dirty R/S stuff for you. Would that help? Just give me a week... or two...

...or three...or four... ;) Actually, that would be wonderful. I think I meant to ask about this, and don't remember if I did... So glad you offered. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

I think we ARE victims of victims. I know exactly where my mom gets it, but still...it's just so frustrating.

I think if you're at least aware of your own ability to fuck up someone else, you're halfway to winning that particular battle. So good for you. I do think it's crucial for you to maintain your own personhood, though, whether your parents like it or not. If they can't handle it, that is absolutely their responsibility. And you never know, maybe they'll learn something!

...or three...or four... ;)

You know me too well! I actually do have something written which might fit the bill. Iti's part of a larger story that won't be finished until next year; so I shall send you an extract. I just need a couple of days to polish, though...

R

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

YAY! Oh, thank you! That's awesome. I can even give you a whole week, if you want. :D

[miraminx.livejournal.com]

I wish I had something wise to say to you about your parents, but unfortunately I don't even have a poem to pass on. I think time and distance do tend to improve strained family relationships, so maybe things will get better, despite the fact that, well, you'll always be their child. Some parents do manage to see their adult children as *adults*; I hope that happens in your family.

As for the R/S stories, yes, I'm writing something. I seem to be making some progress, but I can't predict when it will be out-- maybe a couple of weeks? Thanks for asking and for putting my stories into the "good" category.

Should I ask how your Snape/Harry story is going?

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

I hope that happens in your family.

Me too. But I doubt it. It doesn't help that I'm the youngest, and I'm technically the fuck-up in the family (not a 4.0 GPA, don't know what to do with life, sister is married and has a master's, and got a 4.0 in college, her belly buttonis intact, and she doesn't drop her passport in the middle of her dorm hall...) So, I just have to work hard at proving that I am an adult, and can be responsible. Piece of cake...

Thanks for asking and for putting my stories into the "good" category.

No problem. :)

Should I ask how your Snape/Harry story is going?

Trust me, you don't want to know. I'm officially at the end of my rope. I think I'm going to be punished.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's really anything I can say, so I'll just give you a hug. *hugs* I'm sorry you have to deal with that, and I'm very glad you put some distance between you. *more hugs*

We DO need more R/S, dangit. Good fic is a rare and wonderful thing.

Hmm, that reminds me, I think I have half an r/s snippet on my hard-drive somewhere, actually.

And just beause it sounds like you could do with it: I think you are utterly wonderful and love you to bits. You're awesome. *hugs again*

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that reminds me, I think I have half an r/s snippet on my hard-drive somewhere, actually.

Do you, now? Hmmmm...verrrrry interesting. ;) I think it should become more than half a snippet...hmmm? (Isn't Lallybroch your beta? I'm sure she'd appreciate seeing it ;))

You are absolutely wonderful, too. Thank you for making me happy.

*hugs*

parents

[zsenya.livejournal.com]

Liz,
I totally sympathise with you and your er, mother issues. I had a spat with my own today. Actually hung up the phone on her. And now I am sitting here (have been sitting here) for three hours just being pissed off. I hate being in fights with people, but I really feel like she was wrong. So I will stew until tomorrow morning. Trust me, revel in the joy of being 3,000 miles away. I love my parents, but I don't think I was ever happier than when I was living in Hungary without a telephone...

But I have to ask - was this whole argument in Russian or in English. I don't know why I want to know, I just do.

Next time you should tell her that your belly-button has healed, but that you've started on heroin. You've already got the reputation as a holy terror, right? ;)

Re: parents

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Trust me, revel in the joy of being 3,000 miles away.

Oh, I do! That's part of the reason I had decided to tell her about the belly button over the phone - that way I could just hang up and not have to face her terror/horror/screaming agony. I'm evil. I know. A life without a telephone sounds really good about now...

The conversation was actually in Russian. So, what I translated as 'holy terror' is the equivalent of her 'tihiy uzhas' - "Net, eto ne rebenok, eto kakoy-to tihiy uzhas! Yasha, ona prokolala pupok!" *sigh*

Heroin, huh? She wouldn't believe me. She thinks that drugs are something that exists outside of her family, and wouldn't touch any of us. It's "different". (Well, just like piercing random body parts was before yesterday.) She couldn't even imagine that such a thought might cross my mind (it hasn't, and she's damn lucky for that...)

Ah, the reputation... Maybe that should give her a clue. *g*

[sekhmet2.livejournal.com]

::sighs:: Oh, Liz--you know I wish I was there so that I could just hug you. You really need one right now--just know that I'm sending you a big giant one.

I don't know what I can tell you other than to just give it time. They *will* get used to it eventually and they *will* learn to start seeing you as an adult who can make her own decisions, as well as her own mistakes. They just don't want to give up their little girl yet, and likely figure that the longer that they can make you feel guilty for living your own life, the longer they will be the center of your universe. It's something that they will have to come to terms with, and I urge you to stick to your guns and not give in to them. It will only prolong the situation and believe me, you cannot *fathom* how long they can continue to see you as their 'little girl who can't make her own decisions' if you continually give in to their whims and demands.

Tell them firmly that you looked into the best place to get your belly-button pierced, that you are taking care of it and watching for any signs of infection and that you are pleased with your decision. Then leave it at that. It's hard, I know, and I am fully aware that I am probably the *last* one to be telling you to stand firm. But, you can do it and you *need* to do it.

As far as the R/S slash, can't help you there. I've got another "First Night" fic in the works, but who knows how long it will take me. Sevvie-Muse is being just like a *man*. Damn him. And anyway, it's not as if what *I* churn out is anything to be overly proud of--certainly not "instant classic" material!! ;-)

As far as a GrimSlasher reunion--well, don't hold your breath dear. Don't think that's gonna happen, sadly enough. But we could always hope.

Much love, dear.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

I know that I have to stand firm. I'm trying. It's hard not to get angry, esp. given my temper, but I will attempt to be civil and firm when I come home this break. Maybe some progress can be made. You're right. And I thank you. :) *big hug back*

As far as a GrimSlasher reunion--well, don't hold your breath dear. Don't think that's gonna happen, sadly enough.

Well, I figured as much. It was just very wishful thinking on my part. *sigh*

much love you as, as well. :)

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Ditto to everything Sekhmet's said -she's a wise girl, isn't she?-.

Yes, yes she is.

Yes! We need more. Though I must confess that I'm painfully behind with the fics that have been posted to the list recently.

Yeah, well, I look through them, and sort of go - eh... I don't know. Maybe my standards are too high... *BEG*

*hugs*

*hugs and happy thoughts*

[hallie2985.livejournal.com]

Parents, eh - who'd have 'em? If you want piercings, get piercings, I say. And remember that you are a fantastic person worthy of much praise. And I totally relate to the being treated as a child. My parents are absolute angels, and I adore them, but I do sometimes think Mum's convinced that I've never grown much past seven. Having said that, at the end of the day, they're your parents and you have to love them. Even if they can be mighty annoying.

I hope you feel better soon. In the meantime, enjoy Stonehenge reminiscences, and think happy thoughts.

:o)
Hallie

Re: *hugs and happy thoughts*

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) Thinking happy thought does help, yes.

Having said that, at the end of the day, they're your parents and you have to love them. Even if they can be mighty annoying.

Mmmm, yes. Except that sometimes these issues ran way too deep to actually remember that...unfortunately... But, ah well. Nothing twenty years of therapy wouldn't help with. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, obviously the "I'm bisexual" talk is going to have to wait another fifty years.

lol i definitely think so! :)


btw have you read "dogstar" by chethra? beeeaaauuutiful fic. will definitely cheer you up.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

oh, i'll have to check that out...where can i find it?

[(Anonymous)]

hmm, it was on the sbrl list a while back ago... i dunno how to link it to you though :(

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

http://www.restrictedsection.org seems to have plenty of Remus/Sirius, some of which it's conceivable you won't have read, and with apologies for the rather blatant plug.

On an unrelated note, I think I met you at an LGBT meeting a few weeks back. Was wondering if you lurked in LJ land and now I know. Mwhahaha. Of course if I didn't, then shoot me now.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes you did. I know who you are. Mwahahahaha...

You stalker. Heh.

Put down the gun. Now.

(I love that website already - plenty of smut, no restrictions...)