*bangs head on her copy of At Swim*

[mrsronweasley]

simster has just killed me. From a 6,000 mile distance, he has killed me. With a very heavy book - impaled upon my own sword! Here's a, er, highlight from his visit to Jamie O'Neill's reading in San Francisco. I swear to God, this man will soon have a restraining order against me, and I didn't even DO anything! Good lord, what have I started?!

(The only reason I'm not linking to Sim's post itself is that there are BIG FAT SPOILERS at the beginning of the entry. Here's the part of the reading that nearly did me in. I howled with laughter and then I pawed at the ground because there was really nothing left for me to do. Sim, you're a dead man. Thank you.)

~*~

I got in line and waited. Mr. O’Neill eventually came out and sat down and began signing. Now this is exactly why I never felt compelled to go to a book signing. I have all these questions about the book, so many things I want to ask him – about his life, his inspiration for the book, etc. And what do I say when it’s my turn?

Me: “Hello, Mr. O’Neill,” I say shakily. He looks up at me with a welcoming smile. “I really enjoyed your book.” [I’m so articulate, aren’t I?]

JO: “Oh, thank you,” he smiles more as I hand him my book.

Me: “A friend of mine highly recommended it to me. I believe you know of her. Liz? She sent you a drawing a couple weeks back.”

JO: His eyebrows shoot up. “From Brighton?” he blurts out. [Still breathing, Liz?]

Me: Smiling, I say, “Yes, that’s her. She’s been recommending the book to everyone she knows –- and even to people she doesn’t know.”

JO: He leans back in his chair, grins, and shakes his head looking very, very amused. “I need to hire that girl as my publicist.”

Me: “I’m sure that would make her very happy. When I told her you were coming to SF she encouraged me to come see you in person, and I must say I’m very glad I did.”

JO: His smile widens. “Well, thank you.” He thinks a bit then says, “There was another girl in NY. Melissa, was it?”

Me: I nod.

JO: “Yes, I remember she had just finished the book.” He says this as if it’s a fond memory for him. He quickly comes back to the present. “And what’s your name?”

Me: I give him my name.

JO: “Would you like me to write it along with the inscription?”

Me: “Yes, please do.”

So he signs the book and hands it back to me, all smiles. This guys sure smiles a lot.

Me: “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” And I didn’t even intend to say this; I swear it just came out: “And Liz says hi.” [Checks Liz's pulse.]

JO: Huge smile, showing all teeth. “Well, thank you. And please tell her I said thank you.”

Me: “I will.”

Then I left. I wanted to stay and ask him so many questions but I didn’t want to hold up the line. Plus, I imagine you never say what you want at these things. You have all these questions, but as soon as you try to ask them, the only thing that comes out of your mouth is, “I enjoyed your book.” Doh!

~*~

*dies*

That's it. I have blown any chances I ever might have had for retaining my dignity when it comes to this man. I will either be thrown in prison for other-person-stalking or become his publicist and have a pint with this man every Friday night.

*goes back to her &*%£"£$$$ essay*

Comments

[percy-weatherby.livejournal.com]

Yaaaay Liz! *snuggles heartily :)*

And you're not a STALKER. You're just a VERY enthusiastic fan. Being a stalker requires sitting outside of a celebrity's house for more than 30 minutes.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Hehe, ok, so he TECHNICALLY can't get me, right? That's what I'm hopin' for. Heh.

*snuggles back* :)

[simster.livejournal.com]

Oh Liz, don't worry, he said all of it with undeniable fond affection. He was smiling the whole time and just seemed extremely flattered. I'm sure he found it amusing that you're probably doing a better job than his own publicist, hence the comment.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Oh Liz, don't worry, he said all of it with undeniable fond affection.

Oh, phew. Thank you. That really makes me feel better. And your response to the publicist comment was very very funny. And, oh, so true...

*hugs you for being sweeet*

[firelocks.livejournal.com]

.................................


liz, you've roped me in and made me one of 'those girls'.

...

...

in too much shock to say much else.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahahahhahaha!

Now you know! NOW YOU KNOW!!

I can't wait to see you in - less than two weeks! It'll be insane. The poor rest of the GALs. Hehe.

Re:

[firelocks.livejournal.com]

LOL. The rest will be standing to the side as we pore over the ONE book, going "let's leave them alone for a while." Then we'll look around and be alone in London. Bwarh hah.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

LOL! Not true. CoKerry will be with us. She did, after all, succumb to the charm, as well - and quite quickly, might I add. ;)

Bwarhahahaha!

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

Oh, Liz, lovie!

*hugs madly cause there just aren't any words*

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

*hugs madly back because she's run out of words besides 'stalker' and 'GAHHHH!'*

[croupier.livejournal.com]

I would hug you, but I am waaay too busy laughing about this. Jamie! O'Neill! Publicist! You! Hee.

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

I know! Oh, believe me, you couldn't have laughed any harder than I did, because I also had hysterics thrown in to the mix.

Publicist! Please! Yes! Yes!

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I AM happy. I was also having fun imagining what would happen if the man happened to come to Brighton for a reading.

JO: "So, before I really say anything else, is my st- is Liz here? Liz, where are you?"

Me: *groans and buries head in lap, while raising one hand* "In the front row..."

Teehee...

*love*

[blacknarcissus2.livejournal.com]

I think you should set up a contact network in every town/state/province/country! Imagine it - every signing "Oh, yeah, it was recommended to me by a friend. Liz. I believe you may have heard of her?" *giggles*

Delighted for you, hon, and Yay! Simster.

~Alison xxxx

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Hokay, Miss Publicist. Next time you see your stalkee, tell him that
you have cajoled another unsuspecting human being into reading his d*** book.

How else can I survive Geekmoot? If I'm not a R/S shipper, then the least I can do is
Read The One Book. Everybody else will have *sniffle*

Normally, I shy away from Things with Sad Endings because they invariably bring me down,
but if depressed people like you
can read it without wanting to shoot yourself afterwards, I guess I'll have to give it a go.
Harumph.

percival

[mrsronweasley.livejournal.com]

Cool! Go for it! Honestly, it's just a beautiful, beautiful book. You'll love it.

Next time I see him? I'm a rather sad stalker, having never actually SEEN this guy, even from a distance! *wails* Someday, man. Someday.

[mombi-of-oz.livejournal.com]

*bursts into tears* That´s the signing I would have gone to, had I been at home! I am so, so, so depressed. On the other hand, gah! That is so fucking cool!

XOxoXO
Dee