mrsronweasley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mrsronweasley) wrote2002-10-13 11:54 pm
mrsronweasley) wrote2002-10-13 11:54 pm
On Blahness.
So, I know that I was going to update and be all excited and say cool things about London (which really is wonderful), but...but I'm feeling sorta crappy at the moment, and wanted to share.
I guess it comes in waves. I was sort of depressed yesterday, just a bit, in the morning. I got about four hours of sleep, because I was so excited about going that I just couldn't fall asleep, and then in the morning, it was cold, and rainy and altogether too early and I just felt like crap. In fact, it wasn't until we'd been in London for a good two hours that I felt better. (The sun contributed greatly, as did the fact that my headache and earache went away.)
And then I came back, while Marie and Theresa went to this show in Brighton that cost 20 quid and apparently had a great time. I am happy for them. But I was home. And there was no one else around, not really. But I was tired enough to not care that much, and went to bed relatively early. I woke up...did a few things... came to the lab... then left... was reading Wilde, and felt so tired that I feel back asleep and slept until two. And this whole day has been completely unproductive and really really depressing, in a way. I just didn't want to be around anyone. I shut myself up in my room and read, and that was fine, but I felt like I should have been doing stuff, and couldn't make myself. And I'm still feeling like that. Everything that I want to do is not what I need to do. Does that make sense?
Ugh. It's just this crappy state that I get in sometimes, that is partially a result of simple laziness, and partially a result of me not knowing where to start with everything that needs to happen. I shouldn't be complaining, because it's my own fault. I realize this. But...*sigh*. Ah, well.
In a manner of...well, actually, I don't know who, but here goes a list of Good Things, just to put things into perspective:
- having seen London for myself. A life-long dream has actually been realized.
- Jadis (well, she's not a thing, but she is quite an amazing and kickass person, so, she counts...)
- Katie attacking me with a random tacklehug earlier. *mwah!*
- Wilde Wilde Wilde
- my sister calling and us actually having a nice and very friendly conversation for a change
- my parents traveling (my mommy deserves a break, and they are both in Houston now, dad's conference)
- Linda being patient with my emailing (I swear, tomorrow, I will!) and just being, well, Linda!..
- David being generally awesome and happy
- Jadis's evil plot bunny that has actually spawned a beginning (oh, you know what I'm talking about!)
- my single. I adore my single. I can walk around naked and no one will care. It's a beautiful thing.
- my duvet. I'm in love with it. It's the fluffiest thing I have ever slept under, and it keeps me so toasty warm.
- tea and scones
- my new hat (will discuss later...)
- Houie being wonderful, as usual, and working on the site
- finally sending in the halloween contest entry. I don't think I'm eligible to win anything, but I know at least one person who'll enjoy it... (*coughcoughZsenyacoughcough*)
- Katie and me starting a 'sappy perv' club. We rewl.
That was a very random list, and in no particular order (although, looking at it, I feel like people should come before things...which, I guess, generally they did...)
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... That is my general state at the moment. Blahness. It sucks.
I want a hug. Seriously. I just want a hug.
I guess it comes in waves. I was sort of depressed yesterday, just a bit, in the morning. I got about four hours of sleep, because I was so excited about going that I just couldn't fall asleep, and then in the morning, it was cold, and rainy and altogether too early and I just felt like crap. In fact, it wasn't until we'd been in London for a good two hours that I felt better. (The sun contributed greatly, as did the fact that my headache and earache went away.)
And then I came back, while Marie and Theresa went to this show in Brighton that cost 20 quid and apparently had a great time. I am happy for them. But I was home. And there was no one else around, not really. But I was tired enough to not care that much, and went to bed relatively early. I woke up...did a few things... came to the lab... then left... was reading Wilde, and felt so tired that I feel back asleep and slept until two. And this whole day has been completely unproductive and really really depressing, in a way. I just didn't want to be around anyone. I shut myself up in my room and read, and that was fine, but I felt like I should have been doing stuff, and couldn't make myself. And I'm still feeling like that. Everything that I want to do is not what I need to do. Does that make sense?
Ugh. It's just this crappy state that I get in sometimes, that is partially a result of simple laziness, and partially a result of me not knowing where to start with everything that needs to happen. I shouldn't be complaining, because it's my own fault. I realize this. But...*sigh*. Ah, well.
In a manner of...well, actually, I don't know who, but here goes a list of Good Things, just to put things into perspective:
- having seen London for myself. A life-long dream has actually been realized.
- Jadis (well, she's not a thing, but she is quite an amazing and kickass person, so, she counts...)
- Katie attacking me with a random tacklehug earlier. *mwah!*
- Wilde Wilde Wilde
- my sister calling and us actually having a nice and very friendly conversation for a change
- my parents traveling (my mommy deserves a break, and they are both in Houston now, dad's conference)
- Linda being patient with my emailing (I swear, tomorrow, I will!) and just being, well, Linda!..
- David being generally awesome and happy
- Jadis's evil plot bunny that has actually spawned a beginning (oh, you know what I'm talking about!)
- my single. I adore my single. I can walk around naked and no one will care. It's a beautiful thing.
- my duvet. I'm in love with it. It's the fluffiest thing I have ever slept under, and it keeps me so toasty warm.
- tea and scones
- my new hat (will discuss later...)
- Houie being wonderful, as usual, and working on the site
- finally sending in the halloween contest entry. I don't think I'm eligible to win anything, but I know at least one person who'll enjoy it... (*coughcoughZsenyacoughcough*)
- Katie and me starting a 'sappy perv' club. We rewl.
That was a very random list, and in no particular order (although, looking at it, I feel like people should come before things...which, I guess, generally they did...)
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... That is my general state at the moment. Blahness. It sucks.
I want a hug. Seriously. I just want a hug.
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1. HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG. OK so that didn't help, but imagine it WITH a serenade from New Haven AND some tea and scones. Eh? Eh?
2. Sappy Perv Club....I'm in. Uh, I can be in, right guys? Guys?
3. The hat. Will be discussed. NOW.
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2. Weeeeeell...hmmmm...let me think about that... YES. You're in. Meetings start...er...
3. The hat will be discussed. When talking about London. :-P And, believe me, it's not that exciting...
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(Anonymous) 2002-10-13 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)the day that becomes a reason not to complain about something I will no longer have anything to say. ever. the things I bitch about most in my life are all my own damn fault. I'm fine with that. complaining about the hell I create is the one good part about being a total fuck up.
- Jadis's evil plot bunny that has actually spawned a beginning (oh, you know what I'm talking about!)
yeah, baby! there is much happy dancing happening in Jadis' study. it's like a party. and Prince is playing.
and I just read the chapter you sent me. that is *so* no fucking place to end a fucking thing!! Grrrrrrr!!... okay, I'm better now.
that's a lie. I'm not really. but I am coping. a little.
cost 20 quid
oh, you are so adorably British ;)
XO,
Jadis (who is a thing, in some sense)
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prince is playing, and there's dancing? damn. that sounds like quite a party, indeed...
and no, it is not place to end the fucking thing - it needs to be finished. NOW.
well, if you are a thing, then a really really impressive one...
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Evil plot bunnies sound good, and Z is just going to *love* your Task entry whether you're elligible or not, heh.
*sappy perv love*
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i'm feeling a little better, yes :)
*sappy perv love back*
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I know where you are coming from with the crappy state business; I get mired in that often as well. Yes, I do believe that part of it is some kind of laziness, but the bigger part is the overwhelming feeling of "where the HELL do I even fucking begin?!?" I know, dear; I struggle with this on a daily basis sometimes it seems. It's a rotten feeling, isn't it? I wish that I had some magical formula for how to get rid of it, but alas.....
I have found that by making lists and separating them into "Must Do's", "Need To Do's" and "Can Wait" does help. At least for me, it's often the satisfaction of being able cross off one of the items that gives me the impetus to get on to the next one. Often, I set myself a goal of, say, getting five things done and crossed off, then giving myself a treat. It might be nothing more than lying on the bed in a sunny spot, rubbing the neck of one of my sleeping dogs, but it does help.
It sounds as though you had a marvelous time in London, and I would have loved to have been there as well. Oooohh, I might be going to London next fall for a week or so!! ::jumps for joy:: That means that you have to scope out all kinds of cool stuff for me to do--I'm counting on you to find some great shops and such for me to check out!
Hope that this finds you in a better mood, and do remember that we all love you, no matter what! ::hugs again:: You're such a sweetie, you know that? Thanks for putting me on your list.
BTW, can I be in the "Sappy Perv Club" too? 'Cause you know I'm as pervy as the best of you..... ::evil grin::