mrsronweasley | It is that time of the year again.

It is that time of the year again.

It is Tuesday, June 3rd. I'm in a pretty good mood, I'm wearing a cute summery dress that I accidentally got for free at Kohl's last summer (I swear to God, I didn't notice! She didn't scan it! I have very bad store karma, now!) and I haven't done this for a while.

So, it is back! (Back again.) Anonymous posting: whatever you feel like saying*: how you feel about the weather, the state of the world, the state of fandom, the state of your innards. Anything goes! Talk amongst yourselves, talk to me, squee, sigh, and yearn! Whatever comes to mind!

*Caveat: NO BEING MEAN TO PEOPLE. *stern look* Mean comments will be deleted!

Okay. Go for it. \o/

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It's raining, I've put lots of sugar in my tea, and my feet have these really gross but strangely fascinating blisters on them and I kind of want to jump my best friend a little. I...man, I win. *wins*

I know you said anonymous posting, but just had to say that cute summery fun dresses that are free are always cause for celebratory posting. :D Squees with ya!

I am quite happy this morning! I have no idea why, I just am. *twirls*

Also, I can't wait to see you!!!!!!

You have NO IDEA how happy I am that it's summer! Warm weather! Long days! Summer clothes!

*twirls also*

I uploaded three new icons of my latest obsession last night, bringing my grand total to 42.

I sort of want to upload more, but the geek in me wants to keep it at that number. (The perv in me wants to wait until I can add 27 more. *waggle*)

This will probably reveal me to anyone on my friends list, but I still feel the need to say it. Maybe it was childish of me, but I desperately needed some kind of reassurance on a post I made the other day and received nothing. I watch as other friends make similar posts and get 30+ comments, including comments from me, trying to make them feel better and not one of those people bothered to comment on my post in return.

I know it's just a livejournal post, but it actually really hurt to realize that, despite the fact that I put myself out there for people I consider close friends, they won't do it in return.

*hugs on basic principle*

I've been failing hardcore at commenting these days, and I feel bad whenever I happen to catch a post on my f-list that is about stuff like this, because I just can't handle getting wrapped into other people's problems right now. And it probably makes me a bad person (which is why I'm owning my comment, here, because I don't want anyone else getting blamed for it) but...I don't know. I do the same thing in RL, backing away when things are about to go pear shaped in my own life. I can just barely manage to talk about the easy stuff these days; the difficult conversations make me cry.

Still. It's not that I don't care, or that it isn't important. It's that I'm bad at people, and I hate that my issues mean that people I love get hurt. It sucks.

(All of which may not apply, because I may not know you. In which case, oops? And sorry? And I bet there are people on your f-list who have the same issues?)

*hugs just in case*

*goes back to being anonymous*

I'm in love. ♥

I am meeting a boy on Friday. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be single forever, but it is nice to have prospects :)

(as a side notes: momentary angst- we used to be so close! I miss you! wtf happened! Actually I know it was probably my disdain for LJ in general plus my cavalier attitude towards friendship a while back, but still, just so you know, I miss you/love you/am happy that you are happy/want to sleep on your sofa and eat meat jelly again :)

I want s'mores.

Can I be generally bitchy if it's not directly mean to anyone and I leave my name on it? Liiiike...

Whoever is smoking their disgusting cigarettes out onto the fire escape needs to fucking stop, because I'm tired of my bedroom reeking like cigarette smoke and I'm about two seconds from flying out my window, down the fire escape stairs and smacking said person in the face. :D

I get that maybe they don't want their place to smell like smoke, but then GO OUTSIDE. Smoking out the window directly below mine just makes my place smell like it. And it's gross.

Can I just add a HUZZAH to this. I am a former smoker so perhaps it's my karma but I want to KILL MY NEIGHBOR. She is SOOOO disgusting and she fumigates SEVENTEEN units because she doesn't want to smell her place up. Plus - she doesn't clean up the dogshit in her tiny yard. She killed all the grass with the not-picking-up-of the poop. And she NEVER GETS DRESSED.
::headdesk:::
AND she has inane conversations on her cell phone that you can hear a block away. I actually came out of my closed door apt, where I had my tv on LOUDLY to ask her to lower her voice.
Please don't delete me Liz - I just had to agree with bohemian storm on the smokers.I know this is supposed to be nice but SMOKING IS BAD.
*hates on stupid neighbor some more*
//end rant//

Ahaha, oh, man, I feel like we could BOND over horrid neighbours. The smoking is just the tip of the iceberg on the dudes who live below us. Why can't people just be considerate? I was taught how to be considerate when I was FIVE!

But it sounds like your neighbour and mine just don't get it. Sadly.

Can't we just force them to live together on an island that is filled with nuclear waste? And maybe some republicans?
The funny thing is - I have two other neighbors who smoke like crazy BUT they always call out "Ruth - I am shutting your door" or "I am smoking now" so that at least I can close the door. But stupid assface, no-dress, dumbshit lady - just sits out there intermittently ALL day, in her pj's and reads and smokes. So I think it's okay to open my door and BAM suddenly my apt is filled with smoke.
I am going to start eating REALLY horrible food and farting by her back patio. LOUDLY!
*runs off to the store to stock up on cabbage*
Even my neighbor who never notices anything but sports and girls is appalled at her lack of canine hygiene.
When she starts yapping on the phone like a terrified chihauaha, one of my other neighbors and I start barking really loudly. That usually quiets her down. It just APPALLS my other neighbor - he thinks we are SO RUDE. And sadly. He is right.
I just refinanced so I can't move for five more years. I hope I can keep my sanity til then. It's looking grim my friend, very very grim.
*chews nails and plots idiot!neighbor's demise, or at least her moving date*

oh my god, seriously, i am still not over how my entire friends list is filled with REALLY HOT GIRLS. okay, and a couple of awesome guys, but. REALLY HOT GIRLS. i love you, fandom!

Srsly. I've had honest-to-God crushes on at least a third of my flist, too.

Hear, hear! So much hot! And they're all so smart, too!

And at least one of my crushes feels like more than a crush. At least, it might be. But ssh! It's a secret!

I feel so disconnected from fandom and it SUCKS. It's a little scary, too, to not be in love with a show, a pairing, a fandom, porn! I miss the constant fic reading, I miss the drive to write-write-write, and I think back to what it used to be like, and really wish I'd find the next big show that takes over my soul. Like. SOON.

God, do I know the feeling. I want something to feel fannish about, too! Like, SERIOUSLY fannish, not just "this is fun to watch, yay" fannish. It's eluding me - and not for lack of trying! *sigh* I say we start our own fandom of... uhm... I... Dammit.

I want something to feel fannish about, too!

I don't know about that. You seem just a little bit fannish about Tracey. :D

I want to have sex with my co-worker. It won't happen for a variety of reasons, mostly because he's gay and I'm a woman, but that still doesn't stop me from thinking about it all the time lately. Every time I see him, I get this barely controlled urge to just do things to him and it's making work kind of difficult, yet strangely exciting at the same time.

Awww, been there! Strangely exciting and difficult is dead-on. Aww, man, good luck with that? At least you get something to look forward to every day, right? :D

I WANT AN IGLOO.

I CANNOT HELP YOU WITH THAT. But good luck. :D

*wants a tee-pee*

I think I'm infatuated with

toft_froggy.

I think about her all the time.

There's something about her that makes me want to debauch her, like, like I want to turn her into someone so overcome that she'll have trouble remembering she ever had other priorities. I just want to - I want her to be infatuated despite her better judgment. I want to see this look in her eyes, like she absolutely can't stop, like she's scared, like she's elated, and like she's angry, and bitter, and lustful. But mostly - and I can't believe I'm typing this, because I know at least a few people for whom this is a huge squick - I want to see her look smitten. Like I daydream about being the one who says "say it". I daydream about what happens to her face when she hears that.

Yay, I love these! *beams*

Wow. I know that feeling - it's very intoxicating, isn't it? And I don't know toft_froggy, but I know her WRITING, which is AMAZING. So, I can certainly see where this is coming from. (And why is looking smitten a squick?!)

And why is looking smitten a squick?!

yeah, I should have been more precise... Even though I'm scared to spelling it out, because - well because.

It's just that I want to provoque that. On purpose. Like : I want to make her be smitten, be losing control, while I'm still in control.

Like I want to find the vulnerable in her and hold it in my hand. I just - Liz, she makes me want to be the scary lesbian Lothario.

You don't know who I am! I feel so free! I can say whatever I like!

Um. YOU SUCK. OMG I HATE U SO HARD.

OK, that's a lie. I totally don't hate you. I sort of love you a lot.

Also? Sort of related is that there are people in the world who kind of like it when other people are unhappy with them. They feel that maybe they're unhappy, but they are not the only one.

But then when you get happy, they get annoyed and angry and can lash out. This DOES NOT make you wrong in any way. It makes them shitty. Because although it sucks to be in a bad place, being passive-agressive at your happy-friends is a mean and shitty thing to do. If you have a problem, be direct. Being passive agressive is not ok.

...

YOUR MOM.

Wow, whoever you are! This must have been inspired by SOMETHING! o.O

I hope things work out! :D

And yay for loving me! I'm okay with that. Even though I, uh, don't know you are. *is easily pleased this way*

YOUR MOM BACK, GOD.

I have the weirdest thing to confess. Looking through Afterellen.com Hot 100 yesterday kind of made me doubt my proclaimed bisexuality. It wasn't that I didn't find some of the women on the list hot, quite the contrary. I mean, did you see that picture they used of Sara Ramiez? WOW. But I kept dismissing a lot of women because, if I'm being honest, they reminded me too much of someone I know. Take for instance Katee Sackhoff who is undeniably beautiful and has an incredible body but damn, she reminds me of several people I know, went to school with and so on.

So I did start to question my commitment so to speak. Am I labeling myself bisexual when all my girl action seems to come from admiring women who are exotic to me and therefore can logically be categorized as unattainable?

Or maybe it's just not the women? I haven't even had a tiny crush on anyone I regularly associate with for the longest time, a guy or a girl.

:(

I haven't been in love with someone for a couple of years, at least not in a relationship that was reciprocal. And I miss it. I miss the hugging, kissing, close contact. I miss going to work in a good mood and coming home in a better one because I get to talk to someone I feel that close to. I miss having someone hug me when I'm down because they love me, and not because they're related to me.

I just feel like it's never going to happen for me again and it sucks.

I'm waiting for a sign.

I have a crush on somebody! It's kind of awesome. I haven't had a crush on someone I've known in real life in a really long time, so I kind of feel like the kid at the sleepover who thinks her/his crush is the most interesting thing ever to happen. Except I'm not that kid, so there's no sleepover where I get asked who my secret crush is. It's slightly less fun having a secret crush when it's actually a secret!

Back to update because, hey, my secret crush? Not so secret anymore, in the way that has smooches. And I want to be all smug EVERYWHERE but it is unseemly so here, I am smug anonymously in your comments, okay? *smug* Also happy moving!

I'm not enough for the person I'm seeing. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not familiar enough with the things they love, not caring enough or interesting enough or sexy enough or anywhere near emotionally stable enough.

But I'm keeping them instead of letting them find someone worthy, because I'm selfish and in love.

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It is that time of the year again.

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