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On Being Lonely.
Sep. 30th, 2002 01:02 amWell, it is 1am here, and I can't sleep, since, understandably, it's only 8pm EST. So, I am down here. Feeling very lonely. Somewhere in my dorm, people are playing 'American Pie' loudly and singing along, having the time of their lives, while I'm lying in bed, trying not to cry because I'd just finished my book and now have nothing to do but think about how I'm not one of those people.
Some might say: 'You only got here two days ago, not even that! Give it time!' Ah, yes, but they only just got here, too. Effectively, the only people on campus now are
1) Freshers
2) International and Foreign Exchange students
3) Those poor sods helping the aforementioned out.
Somehow, the Freshers have all found each other. Living in the same country seems to help.
And right now I am suffering from the old high school syndrome of 'what if the cool kids don't like me?' How pathetic is that?
But, really, what if I don't find anyone interesting, or rather, what if I'm not found? What if all the interesting people will continue to elude me, somehow always on the other side of the room, looking completely unpenetrable? Is that even a word? Well, if it isn't, I just made up a dirty word.
Ugh. I knew this was going to happen, but I was hoping that I wouldn't be wide awake when it did. I was hoping it would happen in my sleep.
Things Like About New Place vs. Things Don't Like:
1) ROXing single. Hell yes.
-1) No one to invite into ROXing single. ROXing single mostly lonely for the time being.
2) Really Hot Men.
-2) Really Hot Men either, a) gay, or b) not interested in self whatsoever
3) England
-3) No money to enjoy England as would have liked. Need to get a job. Fast.
4) 24 hour Internet access.
-4) Bah, no emails, anyway. :-P
5) For now, time to enjoy self without classes hanging over head
-5) Nothing to do, as know very few people, and those very few people are in much the same predicament.
*sigh*
I hope it gets better. It has to. Because, dammit, I want people to hug. Or to cry to. Or anything. Just...gah.
Well, that was a thoroughly depressing entry. Cheers, everyone.
Some might say: 'You only got here two days ago, not even that! Give it time!' Ah, yes, but they only just got here, too. Effectively, the only people on campus now are
1) Freshers
2) International and Foreign Exchange students
3) Those poor sods helping the aforementioned out.
Somehow, the Freshers have all found each other. Living in the same country seems to help.
And right now I am suffering from the old high school syndrome of 'what if the cool kids don't like me?' How pathetic is that?
But, really, what if I don't find anyone interesting, or rather, what if I'm not found? What if all the interesting people will continue to elude me, somehow always on the other side of the room, looking completely unpenetrable? Is that even a word? Well, if it isn't, I just made up a dirty word.
Ugh. I knew this was going to happen, but I was hoping that I wouldn't be wide awake when it did. I was hoping it would happen in my sleep.
Things Like About New Place vs. Things Don't Like:
1) ROXing single. Hell yes.
-1) No one to invite into ROXing single. ROXing single mostly lonely for the time being.
2) Really Hot Men.
-2) Really Hot Men either, a) gay, or b) not interested in self whatsoever
3) England
-3) No money to enjoy England as would have liked. Need to get a job. Fast.
4) 24 hour Internet access.
-4) Bah, no emails, anyway. :-P
5) For now, time to enjoy self without classes hanging over head
-5) Nothing to do, as know very few people, and those very few people are in much the same predicament.
*sigh*
I hope it gets better. It has to. Because, dammit, I want people to hug. Or to cry to. Or anything. Just...gah.
Well, that was a thoroughly depressing entry. Cheers, everyone.
