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On Things.
Sep. 16th, 2002 05:27 pmHow is it possible for it to be cold outside, and really hot inside, even with all the windows open? I'm suffocating here, people!
So, my sister and her husband left, and I won't see her until July. It's such a strange feeling. I cried and told her how scared I was - she said that it's all going to be ok, and that I knew that. Yes, I guess I do, but it's still really really...scary.
I realized this weekend that even though I love my family very much, I'm not really interested in hearing what they have to say... It sounds horrible, but here's the thing - I'm 20. I'm young and stupid, and I think that I know more than I do. I realize all of this fully, but it doesn't change the fact that right now my family and I are on very different wavelengths. That's why I'm going to England - to discover things on my own without my family's shadow.
And I really don't like the fact that whenever I say "I'm scared" to my mom, she says "Well, you're the one that chose to do this, I didn't make you!"
Yes, thank you, what a great fucking comfort.
We did all watch "Pride and Prejudice" today, some of us for a thousandth time, some of us first. Guess which one it was for me. Hehe...
"Mr. Darcy! Of all men!"
Indeed. Mmmmm, Colin Firth in the lake...mmmmm...
Speaking of my mom, she has reverted to fangirlism, and is now obsessing over a Russian actor. I think I saw her checking out a message board. I wanted to say "I love you" to her, but I think she would be embarrassed if I knew about it...hehehe... But, hey, with a face like that, who can blame her?
Unfortunately, I see that face entirely too much, as that is her computer background.
Oh, Mommy, and you wonder where I get it from...
Why is it that no one seems to understand that even though I am excited beyond belief about going to England, I'm also scared shitless? Because I am. I'm going to be alone, in a completely different country, with no one to run to. Talk about independence.
Of course I'm excited - I wouldn't have chosen to do this if I weren't - but it is so so so scary. Just thinking about that first day, getting off the plane, catching a train, etc. - it's just too much right now. I will have a while to think about the logistics on the plane, but still...
God, and I still have to figure out where to get money to live on...Jesus.
Ok, I'm going to stop complaining now.
On the plus side, I was finally able to get back on AIM after four months, so that's a good thing. Talked to a lot of my NYU friends and felt a bit better. I've missed them.
Also talked to a few other people - you know who you are - and had a blast. Sometimes crazy conversations can really lift your spirits.
And, YES, I can sleep in MY OWN ROOM tonight! I will not be kicked out and forced to sleep in the living room! I will sleep on my sleeper-fold-out-couch that is wider than it is long, and is so awesome to just stretch out on. Ahhhhhh...
Someone really needs to shut that fucking car alarm off.
My SQ title now includes "AROOOOOOO!"
Z. has an entirely strange sense of humor, and I couldn't stop laughing for a good five minutes. Oh, man... She's on crack - in the best of ways, of course... Hehe.
And on that thought...
So, my sister and her husband left, and I won't see her until July. It's such a strange feeling. I cried and told her how scared I was - she said that it's all going to be ok, and that I knew that. Yes, I guess I do, but it's still really really...scary.
I realized this weekend that even though I love my family very much, I'm not really interested in hearing what they have to say... It sounds horrible, but here's the thing - I'm 20. I'm young and stupid, and I think that I know more than I do. I realize all of this fully, but it doesn't change the fact that right now my family and I are on very different wavelengths. That's why I'm going to England - to discover things on my own without my family's shadow.
And I really don't like the fact that whenever I say "I'm scared" to my mom, she says "Well, you're the one that chose to do this, I didn't make you!"
Yes, thank you, what a great fucking comfort.
We did all watch "Pride and Prejudice" today, some of us for a thousandth time, some of us first. Guess which one it was for me. Hehe...
"Mr. Darcy! Of all men!"
Indeed. Mmmmm, Colin Firth in the lake...mmmmm...
Speaking of my mom, she has reverted to fangirlism, and is now obsessing over a Russian actor. I think I saw her checking out a message board. I wanted to say "I love you" to her, but I think she would be embarrassed if I knew about it...hehehe... But, hey, with a face like that, who can blame her?
Unfortunately, I see that face entirely too much, as that is her computer background.
Oh, Mommy, and you wonder where I get it from...
Why is it that no one seems to understand that even though I am excited beyond belief about going to England, I'm also scared shitless? Because I am. I'm going to be alone, in a completely different country, with no one to run to. Talk about independence.
Of course I'm excited - I wouldn't have chosen to do this if I weren't - but it is so so so scary. Just thinking about that first day, getting off the plane, catching a train, etc. - it's just too much right now. I will have a while to think about the logistics on the plane, but still...
God, and I still have to figure out where to get money to live on...Jesus.
Ok, I'm going to stop complaining now.
On the plus side, I was finally able to get back on AIM after four months, so that's a good thing. Talked to a lot of my NYU friends and felt a bit better. I've missed them.
Also talked to a few other people - you know who you are - and had a blast. Sometimes crazy conversations can really lift your spirits.
And, YES, I can sleep in MY OWN ROOM tonight! I will not be kicked out and forced to sleep in the living room! I will sleep on my sleeper-fold-out-couch that is wider than it is long, and is so awesome to just stretch out on. Ahhhhhh...
Someone really needs to shut that fucking car alarm off.
My SQ title now includes "AROOOOOOO!"
Z. has an entirely strange sense of humor, and I couldn't stop laughing for a good five minutes. Oh, man... She's on crack - in the best of ways, of course... Hehe.
And on that thought...
